#TheMasculineFemale

Fashion has always been a platform for me to express who I am.

I wouldn’t consider myself an icon in the slightest! Nor would I say I have a specific style.

However, I love experimenting and the idea of having no boundaries with fashion excites me! 

Therefore, you’ll understand the hurdle I had to jump when I started my job.

Navy, tailored suit wear.

The uniform guidelines combined with every girl working there wearing the same, standard, plain, ‘office wear’ dress was my worst nightmare.

WHERE IS THE INDIVIDUALITY AND EXPRESSION?!

So, that’s when I thought,

“Let’s switch up these gender roles!”

I brought the male out of the female. I mean, why not? The world would be a bit boring if we all dressed accordingly! 

I’m a HUGE fan of the masculine style, ‘work wear’ look for women.

It’s sassy, strong and screams independence. 

It’s as if it’s a sign of rebellion. Rebelling against the norm. The norm that women should wear a pencil skirt, not cigerrette trousers. Or a round neck blouse, not a collared shirt. 

The sassy flares, paired with a sophisticated pearl embellished shirt has aspects that compliment both the feminine and masculine sides to women. 

And guess what?! 

My new colleagues loved the outfit, aswell as customers, complimenting on how smart I looked. 

So, the moral of this story? 

Break them rules. Mix up them gender roles. Be masculine. Be feminine. Be you. 

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#TheRichGetRicherAndThePoorGetPoorer

Recently, I started my new job in a high end, prestige jewellers. I really like it! It’s a new challenge, with new people. 

But, it’s made me realise how the other half live. And to be brutally honest, its mind blowing (and not in a good way). 

Yesterday, a gentleman came in and explained how he wanted to buy his wife a birthday present.

His budget?

£6000-£10000

I mean each to their own, if you have the money then by all means spend it on what you like. 

But what annoyed me most was the attitude surrounded by this sale. 

I asked questions about his wife to get an idea of what she would maybe like.

“What does your wife normally wear? 

“What is her personality like?”

“Does she wear classic styles?”

His reply? 

“I don’t know” 

I was baffled. Your telling me you don’t know how to describe your own wife’s personality?! 

He was adamant he needed the best diamond concerning clarity and colour because his wife “would not be happy with anything less”. 

I commented how lucky the lady was and he brazenly replied “haha she won’t think that”.

After sending her photos of a selection of the pieces (because she apparently returns all the presents normally because he “gets it wrong every year”) she was quick to express her dislike to the pendants and bracelets that accumulated to around £14000 for them all. 

But, what specifically made me upset? 

The fact that about an hour before this gentlemans arrival, I saw, outside of my works window, two homeless people picking cigarette butts from the bin and putting them in their pocket. 

Welcome to Great Britain. 

#YouGottaHaveFaith

I apologise in advance for this post. It is probably of no interest to anybody, but for me it has helped me to understand and deal with the events that unfolded last month. I hope that, in some respect, it may help people to understand that no matter what life throws at us, we can use every experience to learn, develop and grow as individuals. This is what the trauma of last month has done for me. I have grown. 

Basically (a very long story short) me, mum, my sister and my grandparents were involved in a house fire at my Gran and Grandpas home. My Gran had terminal cancer and had deteriorated rapidly since her diagnosis a few short months prior, and was basically bed bound. Me and my sister were lifting my Gran to try and get her out of the house when my sister said to me, “how are we going to get her out?” 

My reply?

We just will.”

In my head?

“We will get her out if it kills us.”

The reality?

Two men driving past saw the blaze and ran into the burning house and lifted my Gran to safety. 

My grandpas words were “all my life work has gone. I will just have to start again.”

My mums words, “I just wanted to care for my mum in her own home until her last breath. Why us?”

Cutting out all the inner details, the local care home (where my Gran used to work) took my Grandparents in, due to the care and attention my Gran required. 

The next day, at 1pm, we were informed that it was imminent. 

Gran had 24 hours to live. 

Mum, me and my uncle stayed with her until 5am when she peacefully took her last breath. Two days after my Grandpa lost his home, he lost his wife of 60 years. 

My whole outlook on life has changed. How? 

  • My faith in humanity has been restored. Two men running into a burning building to save complete strangers is the most heroic act I have ever witnessed, and I will be eternally grateful to them. Without them, this story could have had a completely different ending. Also, the generosity of the care home who let my grandparents stay, free of charge, was so kind. Their care was outstanding and I truly believe they helped my Gran’s passing be as peaceful as it could have been.
  • As cliche as it sounds, everything does happen for a reason. I keep replaying the situation in my head, thinking what could have been. But you cannot think like that. It will eat you up. And like my friend said to me, which I will always remember, “it wasn’t your time to leave this life, Amanda.”
  • You can experience every single emotion in such a short period of time. Anger at family members (who you see the true side of, which is not always nice, when a tradegy like this occurs). Frustration at the builders who were at fault for the fire. Sadness for the loss of my Gran and for what my Grandpa is going through. Loneliness because it is hard to talk to family because I feel they are going through just as much as me and I don’t want to burden them with my feelings. 
  • My Grandpa is the most inspirational man. He lost his wife and home in two days and still, his optimism shines through. 
  • Faith is something we all should have. This is my first death I have experienced. I never thought about what happens after death, but now I have my own beliefs which have comforted me and helped me deal with losing my one true Queen. 
  • I will be grateful for the life I have, because you just never know what is around the corner.
  • I will spend my life making my Gran proud, as best I can. 

The most important aspect I have learned is that no matter how silly you think your beliefs are, and no matter what people think about your own beliefs, you should stick to them. I don’t believe in God, but I have my own thoughts on the after life to help me to deal with my Grans passing, and that is what comforts me. It must be a sad life to not believe in anything. 

Hold on to your faith. Sometimes, that is all we have. 

#INNEWMUSICWETRUST 

Music has always been a passion of mine. Live gigs and festivals are one of the things that make me the happiest in the world. 

But, it is only recently (since visiting my sister) that I started to question the influence music can have. 

Can lyrics be a negative lesson for children?

Now I know many people will argue that there is only one answer to this question and criticise me for even asking it, but it is something I’ve never really thought about because:

  1. When I was younger songs were based  more on innuendos that children wouldn’t even understand even if they knew the lyrics word for word (such as Aqua ‘Barbie Girl’) and,
  2. It’s only since my neice has become older that I have begun to look at how aspects of our culture can impact children.

So, when I visited my sister, who had a Little Mix music video playing on the tv, I was surprised when she said,

“I’m worried that Little Mix are becoming too raunchy for Jess” 

At first, I didn’t really pay much attention. But then as the penny dropped it made sense. They are a girl group who have a huge fan base (with the majority being young girls, probably aged 6+).

In the car on the way home, Wild Thoughts By Rihanna came on and straight away a certain line caught my attention.

“Know you wanna see me nakey, nakey, naked.” 

I instantly thought to myself ‘put yourself in a six year olds shoes and wonder what would they think? Is it acceptable to be naked? Is it acceptable to ask people if they wanna see me naked? Is it acceptable to assume people want to see me naked? It’s okay to be naked because Rhianna says it is? 

It really did make me question a lot of issues. 

In schools, part of the curriculum now is to teach children as young as five the importance of their ‘private areas’ and how it is not okay for people other than themselves to touch them. They are educated on sexual abuse. Yet, song lyrics basically contradict this, by singing about sex, being naked and other inappropriate behaviours in such explicit and obvious detail! 

Isnt this confusing the children of our society? Is this not sending mixed messages? 

My neice is like a sponge, and like most kids her age, she absorbs every detail of information she hears, reads or sees. 

Isn’t it scary to think that children are hearing such explicit scenarios from people who are meant to be their ‘idols’?

#SCRAPINGTHEBOTTOMOFTHERUMBARREL

I’ve been an avid fan of Pirates of the Caribbean ever since the Black Pearl sailed onto the big screen. I remember getting it on video and watching it every day, for at least a month, dreaming of being a pirate (sad I know). 

So, you could imagine that last night I was SUPER excited to see Dead Men Tell No Tales. 

My verdict?

TRAGIC.

I’ve never walked out of a film screening before, but this was the closest I’ve ever been to doing so. 

Clearly, the directors were finally scraping the bottom of the rum barrel for ideas. 

Why do I say this?

  • Captain Salazar is basically a Spanish version of Davy Jones and the Flying Dutchman
  • Henry and Carina are obviously Will and Elizabeth wannabes
  • I had deja vu when Jack is saved from yet another execution
  • And the script may aswell have been a hand me down from the previous films

The similarities were so obvious, it made it ridiculously cringe.

And as for Barbosa, I really feel Geoffrey Rush deserves an apology for his embarrassing storyline and shocking ending. Surely, such an iconic character is worthy of a better fate than falling to his death seconds after realising the Kiera Knightley wannabe was his long lost daughter. I mean please, how tedious. 

I’m not even going to mention Johnny Depp, because it actually breaks my heart that even he couldn’t save the film from this humiliation.

And then there was the ending. The most cringe worthy part. A no longer captain of the Dutchman running like a pleb to his gal and engaging in a passionate kiss. How original. 

The only positive?

The music was still as incredible as ever, but apart from that I wouldn’t bother watching it til the end. Maybe it should have stopped At World’s End… 

#TOVOTEORNOTTOVOTE?

So,it’s that time again. Another general election to decide who we want in place to make Britain great. 

Personally, I’ve been debating whether or not to vote.

Why?

Because, for me, I feel a general election consists of the same problems EVERY time:

  1. 2 main parties slating each other rather than laying down the true facts
  2. Both bringing up issues that we as the public want to hear
  3. When actually getting into power nothing drastic actually changing to better the country 

A decrease in 18-25 year olds voting does not come as a surprise to me. We are never truly given the facts which makes it difficult for us to give an accurate and correct vote because we have no real idea of what to believe. A decrease in trust towards politicians plays a major role in why votes aren’t as high as they used to be, which is something I strongly believe needs to be changed. If we don’t trust these politicians then why would we vote for them? 

Isn’t it just a case of picking the better of two evils?

A comment I came across on social media the other day also highlights this, which made a lot of sense to me. The lady stated,

“Im seriously considering abstaining in protest at the standard of available options”

However, I have registered to vote, after long consideration and persuasion, and in all honesty I will probably vote. Not because I have 100% faith in any of the parties or trust that they will better our lives, but because I am a woman and in the be all and end all of things, women did die for my right to vote. Although the world is a different place since the suffragette movement, I’d like to think that their heroic acts made an impact on us all, even amidst the state of our society today. 

But really for me, politics is very hypocritical and SO much does need to be changed for the younger generation to have full trust in voting. I mean, will we always be battling to be freed of a Marxist society no matter who gets into power? 

#MYBUCKETLIST

Right now this quote is helping to ease the anxiety of my current situation. It’s been a year since I graduated university, and that same year I’ve spent in a mundane job, scraping by while everyone else seems to have their life together. 
But, today I applied for my masters and since believing this year has been a wasted one (which in retrospect I’ve learnt SO much, And therefore is actually a benficial year) I’ve decided to publicly post my bucket list. 

Why? 

To set my self a goal of completing it and to remind me there’s so much out there to experience that one teeny tiny year of not doing what you really want is actually quite irrelevant in the long run. 

  1. Learn guitar 
  2. Go to Coachella 
  3. Write a book 
  4. Get accepted into my masters ✅
  5. Become a journalist
  6. Go to Glastonbury ✅
  7. Learn a language 
  8. Live in London (pref. In a penthouse suite ahahahah)
  9. Road trip Route 66 
  10. Ice skate in Central Park 
  11. Go to a planetarium ✅
  12. Get another tattoo
  13. See a ballet in theatre 
  14. Spend New Year in a different country
  15. Complete a marathon 
  16. Attend a masquerade ball
  17. Go on a breakfast date and have proper pancakes!
  18. Go to London AND Paris Fashion week
  19. Travel more
  20. Be as strong and inspiring as my mum